The characters –
A – New neighbour and single mother of a girl child
B – A single mother to a little girl who was defamed and the society kept quiet
C – A mother to girl child
D – A mother to a teenage girl and a grandmother to a toddler
One fine day, the husband of B falsely accused B in the society WhatsApp group. He claimed that B has taken ownership of the property that she has been staying in for a few years now. He brought their personal problems in front of 250+ people who had a mindset as ancient as dinosaurs. At first everyone in the group told him to solve his personal problems personally and that was the best thing to do. But what followed later were a series of attacks towards entire womanhood and everyone still kept quiet. And the saddest part is, women were pulled down by women.
2 days after the WhatsApp group incident, I met with 2 of my mom friends and both had experienced something so terrible that they couldn’t believe. While they were doing their own business in the society compound D met with both of them individually and asked them to listen to her muft ki (free) advice.
The advice was – keep your daughters (younger than 8 years old) away from the daughter of B. B is a prostitute and has opened a brothel at her home and her daughter is not a child anymore she acts the same as her mother. Yes these were the words from a grandmother who has a teenage daughter. She also went ahead and asked C to take care of her husband because B wears sports bras and hot shorts only when men are around to lure them.
A & C gave her a fitting reply to shut her down. But they didn’t want B to know what they had just heard because they wanted to protect her. The moment I heard about it, I too felt that we should not let B know about this incident because she has already been through so much of physical, mental and emotional abuse and has recreated herself and her entire life from scratch all alone.
Almost two weeks later, B met her husband to talk about the divorce settlement and there he mentioned that D met him and told him the same about B. Nothing was mentioned about their child to him though. B was raged and disheartened but kept calm because she didn’t care what others think about her. She let it go out of her system because she was strong.
A few days later, when B came home from work she saw that her mother who visits her to look after the little daughter was not home. When she called up her mother, her father answered the call. And told her that he will not talk to her anymore and doesn’t want to see her face. She asked them what happened? And when she heard what had happened she lost her cool.
While her mother was down for evening walk in the society, some aunty came to her to let her know what their beloved daughter D was doing. The hindi words equivalent to prostitute and brothel were used to explain the situation to a 70 year old mother and grandmother who was still dealing with the fact that her daughter was physically abused of 8 years and she was undergoing a divorce. B’s mother had left the society without saying a single word.
B went to D’s house to confront her. I hearing the voice of people fighting went up to see if the kids playing the lobby were ok. The raged B was there all alone, standing up against her bullies. We got to know from her family members that D was hospitalised. Her family members were trying to push B out and talk to her in the same way D did. The saddest part about the incident was that D’s teenage daughter was standing there all confused. The moment they touched B, I pulled my phone out and started recording. Seeing the phone they moved back and stopped touching or calling her names. The words that came out of their mouth were yes, this should have not happened, yes we will tell D. I somehow pulled the angry B down and brought her home.
What she told me after that is a story of almost every single mother and her child in India. And all the single mothers and their children who spoke to me have specifically mentioned its always the women.
When B’s daughter is playing she has been summoned multiple times by the All India Patriarchal Aunties Association and following were the questions she was subjected to –
1. Who is your father?
2. Where is your father?
3. Who is that uncle?
4. Today which uncle is at your home?
5. Which is your favourite uncle?
Note – These are the questions asked to a 7 year old girl child.
The sheer audacity of these women made me so mad that I wanted to bang each of their doors and give them gaalis in hindi. All the unsophisticated ones. Are they ever eligible to be called humans?
The next day B called D and recorded their call. B told her that she will drag her to the women’s cell. Hearing this D immediately apologised and said that B’s husband met with her and said things to her. She basically wanted to put all the blame on B’s husband. But on that call she confessed everything she did and to everyone she spoke to.
The point to note here is even if the husband came to D, what was the need to defame a woman and turn her into a Masala for your gossip? That was your own doing! Just because you don’t like what a person’s profession is or what they wear doesn’t mean you can bullshit about them.
You don’t like what you see, close your bloody eyes and filthy mouth.
B asked D to call everyone she spoke to and tell them she was wrong and she was sorry. But D being D she only called C and even then trying to put the entire blame on B’s husband. C and her husband told her what she did was wrong and not accepting it is worst. They tried to counsel her and told her when you talk about a second person to a third person, however shitty the talk is, it doesn’t reflect a thing about their character but says a mountain about yours.
In the evening, a lot was said in the society’s WhatsApp group between B & her almost ex husband. The husband had 0 proofs against B and B shared each and every necessary document, photos of how much she was abused and the worst part was videos taken by her little child of her abuse. While this was their personal matter, she was forced to share everything in public because of her character assassination. But she made her husband shut up with the truth. After seeing her photos and videos hardly 2 people supported her publicly and called her husband out for what he was.
Later, B called D and asked her to confess in the group and issue an apology herself or else B warned her that she will release the recorded call confession in the group. D being D, she tried to out play B. She wrote B has made a complaint that some ladies sitting down in society interfere in her personal and private life so please stop doing this. She is a part of the society.
B was sitting in front of me and reading this and we bursted our laughing. B called her again twice and she told her firmly that she will release the call recording in the group if you don’t confess in the group what you did.
D was aware about her status in the society and knew how it would reflect on her. So she again played smart. She first removed B’s husband from the group and then issued an apology saying B’s husband did everything. I just told some ladies in the society. I am sorry for interfering in your life.
B being B, she decided not to go ahead with the recorded confession to the Women’s Cell only because D was hospitalised and she had made her confession in the group.
But honestly, the mother in me was so raged. The woman in me was trying to keep her calm but the mother took over and I couldn’t stop myself from writing this –
B was kind to forgive Auntyji. But what you did with B is not forgivable. Today B has stood up against you and shut your filth up. But what about the mindset that you and your AIPAA has? How will that change?
To which she said that she has already apologised and she doesn’t need a character certificate from me. To which my reply was just two letters – ok. Because arguing with such a woman is a waste of my time and energy. Now when her character is questioned she doesn’t need a certificate from anyone but she and her likes who have GOD COMPLEX think it’s ok to make their own character certificate for a woman and defame her in the entire society?
Holding D responsible was necessary, but what about the All India Patriarchal Aunties Association? The ones that spoke to B’s mother? The ones that heard about what D had to say and didn’t shut her up like A & C? The ones that are silent spectators?
This message was for them –
People reading this, if your family members are going down for evening walk better ask your mothers, sisters and daughters to stay away from such women who gossip about others just for their entertainment or to keep up with their god complex.
Change starts inside the four walls of our own houses. No one wants to raise their children in an environment where a woman is not respected. A 7 year old child is not respected by women who are her grandmother’s age. Your family is your responsibility explain the basic concept of respecting women to them. Sic.
After this incident, a girl came ahead and spoke about her experience of eve teasing and bullying.
My only question here to you readers is, why are we always quiet when it happens and react only when we are left with no choice?
Imagine if B was under going mental health struggles and was left alone in this situation. What if she gave up the hope? What if she decided to take her own life? Who will be held responsible? The women of All India Patriarchal Aunties Association or the mindset of both the doers and the watchers?
If you are reading this and have underwent something similar, please understand there is still hope. You are not alone and it is not too late to share your experiences. You can write your experience in the comments below to find support or DM us on Instagram here – @flawsomelifeofficial
EMPOWERED WOMEN EMPOWER WOMEN!
